originally published July 28, 2009
Laura is making her list of New Year's Retributions.
Laura is making her list of New Year's Persecutions.
Laura added the "Bagpipe Hero" game application.
Laura asks the question, "When exactly did a regular television series length become only 12 episodes?"
Laura joined the group "The Worst Thing for your Teeth is Secrets."
Laura says it's "REAL-tor" not "RE-LA-tor". SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP IT, JUST STOP IT!
Laura joined the group "Hard as it is to believe, no, bright green eyeshadow is STILL not as hot as it was in the 70s. Please continue to wait years to use it."
Laura added the "Body scars and other flirtatious conversation starters" application.
Laura added the "out of control violent fantasies perpetrated against the terminally dumb" application.
Laura joined the self-help group "Repeatedly Re-reading your own witty Responses Anonymous."
Laura is going to organize the internet today.
Laura advises you not take off your gloves with your teeth after salting the stairs.
Laura asks "How can a non-smoker get a legitimate six to seven minute break every hour?"
Laura has banned the use of the word "plaque" with respect to any conversations involving volunteer recognition. Thank you for your attention.
Laura added the "Waiting for Escargot" application.
Laura added the "compulsive need to defy authority" application.
Laura added the "control the lives of your enemies through plots hatched in secret places" application.
Laura added the application "Managing through cured meat and salty language."
Laura is suffering from lack of helium.
Laura added the "Barging into Queues" application.
Laura says "My aura hurts."
Laura says "Bring it! What doesn't kill me only covers up the garbage better on my lawn."
Laura became a fan of mind-numbing comfort.
Laura says "I will shovel no more forever."
Laura is reading "Are you there God? It's me, Mephistopheles."
